I want to take some time on this public forum to thank Messers Neiman and Marcus for their delightful department store restrooms. Now that my workplace is just a few stores down from NM, I take advantage of them on the regular, and let me tell you, it’s a delight. Each and every stall is like a mini hotel room, complete with granite counter tops, and for some inexplicable reason, a chair, which I can only assume is for guests. Don’t quote me on that, as I’m still new to the NM shit-in-style way of life.
My opinion and appreciation of their fancy, upscale waste depository has only doubled in recent days, as I had a run in with some Taco Bell non-meat, and had to expunge my bowels in several lesser public washrooms. It was like discovering masturbation for the first time, only to have your hands removed after just a few weeks. I’ve never felt so lost and confused while pooping.
That’s my piece, but it comes with this suggestion. If you have the chance to shit in a Neiman Marcus, I highly suggest it. It will make your day.