I don’t know if its because I’m an easily irritated person, or because they feel drawn to me, but I seem to attract weirdos in my life. Most of them I can ignore, like one might “ignore” an obviously retarded person on the bus, or how we all “ignore” a midget in plain sight at the mall. By that, I mean I know they’re there, and I stare at them when I know they and their entourage wont catch me, but I’m otherwise aloof, pretending they don’t exist. Like I said, I can ignore most of them, but every once in a blue moon, one of them steps up their game, and puts their fucked up personality on center stage for all to view. These fuckers, these bastions of awkward and terrible confrontations, are the bane of my existence. Like Superman has Lex Luthor, and Batman had The Joker, so do I have nemesis’, and they go by the name Overly Friendly Taco Bell Girl (hereby to be referred to as OFTBG) and Fat Suck-it Kid. They aren’t working together in some unholy partnership of terror, but they cause just as much damage, and like Batman is tied to Gotham, I too am tied to my place of origin, stuck dealing with these forces of evil two.
Which is more powerful? I don’t know. They employ such a variety of tactics its tough to gauge their individual threat levels. For the time being, they’re at a constant “Threat Level Orange.” Fat Suck-it Kid is definitely more aggressive in his tactics, but he’s clumsy. he makes silly mistakes, but he’s far more of a live wire. The threat with him is impressive, but easily seen. Its easy to see his attacks as they’re broad and obvious.
OFTBG, on the other hand, just may be the most dangerous type of villain. She’s the villain that doesn’t know she’s a villain. She’s a melting pot of insecurities and emotional problems, with just enough abnormal psychosis thrown in to make her a ticking time bomb. She’s like a nuclear weapon living in a city, armed, and working at a bumper car only amusement park. Its just a matter of time until *BOOM* And on that day, I weep for the survivors.
Thats it, thats all. The Origin of Evil will continue next week with The Rise of Fat Suck-it Kid, only on This Weeks Obsession.