Hippy: “Sext Chat”

Occasionally, I take part in some harmless gay humor with Simon Theory similar to “Gay Chicken” in an effort to one-up the other in the most bizarre combination of sexual accoutrements.  Because sex means nothing without the right accessories, right? So this is the actual word-for-word, transcript of a back-and-forth text exchange we had a few days ago that I found quite inventive:

  • Hippy: Cool. Lets hang out.
  • Simon Theory: OK. But we gotta go to ****’s Bday party Saturday.
  • Hippy: Sounds gay…fuck, I guess.
  • Simon Theory: Well, its a gay guy’s Bday. Planned by a gay guy’s boyfriend. Located at the gayest club in the state.
  • Hippy: OK. I’ll bring the butt plugs.
  • Simon Theory: I’ll bring the car batteries.
  • H: I’ll bring poodles and ointment.
  • ST: I’ll bring The Sybian and G.I. Joe figurines.
  • H: I’ll bring the E! Network.
  • ST: I’ll bring the Jelly Donuts and iPhone 4 car adapter.
  • H: I’ll bring the camera phone and a phone book from the state of Wisconsin.
  • ST: I’ll bring the life-sized Boba Fett cut-out and the remote control to a 1983 Zenith big-screen TV set.
  • H: I’ll bring the Nordic Track stairmaster, flip-flops, and an executioner’s mask.
  • ST: I’ll bring a Nintendo Glove controller, 6 ft. of rope tied in a noose, hubcaps, and a job application to Old Navy.
  • H: I’ll bring Ashton Kutcher.
  • ST: LAST STRAW! I’M OUT!! You’ve crossed a line, God Dammit!!
  • H: Prude.

And I got the last word! Guess I’m much more kinky than I thought. Anyways, feel free to add your own. I’m gonna go jerk it with a rope around my neck, a ball gag in my mouth, and a cock ring just for flavor. Bye!

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About This Week's Obsession

We have opinions...so you don't have to.
This entry was posted in Reefer-ed Readings and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Hippy: “Sext Chat”

  1. Dena says:

    I do agree with all the ideas you have introduced on your post.
    They are really convincing and can definitely work.
    Still, the posts are too short for newbies. Could you
    please lengthen them a bit from subsequent time? Thank you for the
    post.

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