Simon Theory: “I’m Not Gay, but…”

So, we’re probably not the first ones to do this but a friend of mine threw up this Facebook Status Update:

“Finish this sentence: “I’m not gay, but…”

And this launched a steady stream of conspicuously latent homosexual fantasies suppressed deep within the psyche of troubled “straight” men. So, for your enjoyment, I’ve collected a list of my favorites. Here’s some of the prize winners but feel free to add your own.

-Now, I’m not gay, but…

  • …your ass is incredibly tight.
  • …I’ve always wondered what I would say to a man after he sucked me off and swallowed me whole. Thank you? Good job?
  • …no woman knows how to please me like a man.
  • …I’ve always wondered how long it would take for a popsicle to melt in my butt.
  • …I’d probably let Justin Timberlake suck me off.
  • …I wonder if Liam Neeson’s got a big cock.
  • …I’d make a sexy chick.
  • …I wonder if pineapple juice really makes cum taste sweet.
  • …I’d make a good cowboy.
  • …what would you be willing to do for a free Miata?
  • …I just swallowed an entire banana without chewing!!
  • …I finally found that anal G-Spot I’ve been hearing about!

And finally, my favorite:

  • …I love Jersey Shore.

Thanks for reading. Feel free to add your own.

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About This Week's Obsession

We have opinions...so you don't have to.
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