Lord John Marburry: Ben Affleck as Batman in 2015

Affleck Batman

So, the inevitable has happened, and after an amazing run with a slight Godfather 3-esque finale, Christian Bale has given up the keys to the Tumbler. We knew it was gonna happen, it had to happen, and the character is too much of a money maker to let sit for too long. We had signs this was going to happen when it was announced Zack Snyders Superman sequel would feature Batman, but I think some of us hoped that maybe, just maybe, Snyder, Goyer, and Nolan had enough pull to bring Christian Bale back. Alas they did not, and Mr. School Ties himself is going to step into the gumshoes of the Worlds Greatest Detective.

Ben Affleck as Batman… let that sink in. Let that news wash around you and tickle your toes while it fellates you as you fall asleep. Be comforted by the news and know that the cowl is in good hands. Because even if you’ve had nothing to drink but Hater-Ade, it happened, and there is no going back on that. Now, The way I see it, you have two choices. You can decide now, before he has had a chance to prove himself, that you don’t like it, and let it become a self fulfilling prophecy. Or… You can look for the positive and wait for the movie to come out before passing judgement. Maybe I’m just old fashioned, but I try not to judge a book by its cover, especially when that book has the perfect chin to compliment the cowl.

I know some of you out there may still need convincing. I know some of you just might be more effected by the media machine and not know how to form your own opinions, Thats fine. In fact, thats why we here at TWO exist. Just know, we will win you over.

See, I could start by pointing out that most people dislike him because of the whole Bennifer thing, not his acting. As well as mentioning that even though they aren’t for acting, he HAS won two Oscars, which indicates a pretty powerful acumen for visual story telling. I might also add that he is a huge, lifelong comic book nerd able to draw from an near encyclopedic knowledge of the Caped Crusader to enhance the role and bring it depth. My cou de grace might be to declare the directors cut of Daredevil surprisingly good, arguing the movies primary faults lie with its script and editing, not Matt Murdock.

Search your feelings you know it to be true.

And as a final PS to this all; Let us not forget the absolute shitstorm the uneducated threw when Heath Ledger was cast as The Joker in 2007.

Now stop being a whiny bitch because you’ve been taught by MTV to dislike the guy and realize… hey, most of the movies he is in are actually pretty good, all the movies he has directed are pretty good, and he’s a damn handsome fella. Now good day to you, sir!

PPS. acumen |əˈkyo͞omən, ˈakyə-|
The ability to make good judgments and quick decisions, typically in a particular domain: business acumen.


About This Week's Obsession

We have opinions...so you don't have to.
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