Category Archives: Newspeak

Simon Theory: “Women Are Their Own Enemy”

-1st: Republicans fine with health care covering Viagra, but not birth control. -2nd: Rep. Mike Huckabee says women don’t need birth control, they need to control their libido & sexuality. -3rd: Rep. Sean Hannity suggests an “Adopt-A-Woman” plan for birth … Continue reading

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Lord John Marburry: Ben Affleck as Batman in 2015

So, the inevitable has happened, and after an amazing run with a slight Godfather 3-esque finale, Christian Bale has given up the keys to the Tumbler. We knew it was gonna happen, it had to happen, and the character is … Continue reading

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Simon Theory: “Attention Christians”

Attention Christians! If you don’t want the government to allow gays to marry, then get your church to stop taking all those big tax breaks from the government and remove all federal benefits from your religious cer–oh wait. You guys … Continue reading

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James Gandolfini Dead at 51

James Gandolfini passed away today at age 51 following a massive heart attack. He was one of the good ones. I once slept with a woman in a bar in North Lake Tahoe because she was attracted to Tony Soprano. … Continue reading

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Simon Theory: “My Daily Reminder”

 

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Simon Theory: “Pro-Rape Republicans? WTF?”

Anyone notice a drastic increase in the amount of pro-rape Republicans?? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: “DONT BE SCARED OF THE “WHISPERING EYE”. It’s not a bottomless pit of despair. It’s not the Sarlaac. It doesn’t … Continue reading

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Simon Theory: “GOP Attacks the Right To Vote”

 A long time ago, when Americans said America is the greatest country in the world, it was widely accepted as true largely in part to 2 human rights that many other countries did not have. 1. The Right to Free … Continue reading

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Simon Theory: “Grover Against Romney”

Need I say more?

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Lord John Marbury: This Broke My Brain

This literally broke my brain. To duplicate the effects, follow these easy steps. 1. Watch*   2. Understand that this is a sixteen year old Swedish boy that dresses like a Japanese girl and sings like a man. What. The. … Continue reading

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Simon Theory: “Hindsight: Republican’s Worst Enemy”

Back in 2007-2008, The Republicans began their fear-mongering campaign against then-Senator Obama with accusations and doomsday scenarious normally reserved for really bleak, dystopian, Sci-Fi novels. But now, 4 yrs after President Obama’s election campaign really began, “Hindsight” has reared its … Continue reading

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