“The Modern Man”. Time to Man Up bitches.
“Great Album vs Great Music”. A Theory
“The Best ‘Thicke’ Since Alan” The greatest body in the world is on display in one of the catchiest God Damn songs I’ve ever heard.
“Pro-Rape Republicans” Whats up with these Republicans these days? Were they raped by women’s softball players or something?
“G.O.P. Attacks Right To Vote” The Republicans are attacking one of our most sacred rights as citizens…and we just watch.
“F- You, Hippy!!” We sure love Libraries. But Hippy’s a tool.
“Hindsight: Republican’s Worst Enemy”. With a whole new batch of lies by Republicans this year, I point out a few from their last campaign season that turned out to be bullshit.
“Rest In Hell, Andrew Breitbart”. I eulogize a miserable, contemptuous piece of shit.
“Notification”. This is me throwing the cap over the wall.
“Tax The Rich, Bill O’Reilly Quits”. Just a funny clip Daily Show did on Bill O’Reilly. I promise Im not leading the revolution against the rich. Just FOX News.
“Why The Rich Needs Taxing”. First, the rich don’t get taxed enough. Then, the rich want the poor to get taxed more?? Fuck That: A Rant.
“I’m Not Gay, but…” there’s just so many ways to finish that sentence. Here’s a few of my favorite.
“That’s no Library…It’s a Palace!” Most women dream of homes. I dream of Libraries with Classical cathedral-inspired architecture.
“A Hawaiian Liberation Hypothetical”. As the intelligent, well-informed Ghost Of Christmas Future, I give a Sci-Fi peak into what Hawaiians had in store for them if the U.S. left them alone. Spoiler: It’s pretty bleak.
“Eat, Pray, Love…then what?”. Julia Roberts is nothing more than an enabler for irrational women to believe the grass is always greener.
“Economics 101-The .99 Cent Value Meal”. The Most Important Financial Institution America has left.
“Rep. Cliff Stearns Is A Terrorist”. Sometimes, you’re not evil, stupid, immoral, or depraved…you’re just a douchebag! Right Cliff Stearns?
“Simon Theory’s Final Thoughts on The Royal Wedding”. I’m American! Fuck Royalty! The only Royal Wedding for me is The Burger King & The Dairy Queen.
“The Fundamental Flaw of a Subscribed Hierarchy”. You’ve got to stop subscribing to religions and special interests and start subscribing to our BLOG!!
“Comics Wanted”. Stand up for Stand-Up and demand more from these dancing monkeys.
“Happy 311 Day!” Celebrating the greatest day of the year with the greatest band.
“Senator Santorum’s Got a “Google” Problem”. The title is as literal as can be.
“Greatest President, My Ass!!” I get a little upset at a Gallup Poll on who Americans vote our greatest presidents of all time.
“Questioning Tradition” A brief, little, parable.
“Atheism Lacks Organization” A quote worth considering…that doesn’t come from the Bible.
“The Artist’s Exemption” A pissed-off rant about the new breed of “Sell-Out” and the clause they hide behind.