Tag Archives: crap

Simon Theory’s Final Thoughts on the Royal Wedding

There’s very little I care about LESS than two spoiled, rich, silver spoon, douchebags getting married just so they can procreate spoiled, carbon-copy douchebag kids and make THEM royalty for doing absolutely nothing of value other than squeezing out of … Continue reading

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Hippy: The Three Seashells

Quick question: We put a man on the Moon, created the Foreman Grill, and invented Netflix…”Why are we still jamming fluffy wads of paper up our ass after we shit?” This was not the future we were promised, people. We’ve … Continue reading

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Lord John Marbury: The Worlds Greatest Shitter

I want to take some time on this public forum to thank Messers Neiman and Marcus for their delightful department store restrooms. Now that my workplace is just a few stores down from NM, I take advantage of them on … Continue reading

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